Sunday, November 25, 2018

Time To Punch Your Ticket To The After Life

We were exhausted.  All the changes we had to make, the tasks we had to do, and our ever worsening PTSD were taking a serious toll on us.   All this was compounded by things still happening to us.  We struggled nearly daily just to keep moving forward.  We leaned on each other for strength and the will to continue the fight.

I was going to clean everything in the house with hot salt water as Amy had instructed us to do.  I waited until everyone was out of the house just in case things turned ugly and violent.  If anything was to happen, I didn't want my family here.  I was willing to take the brunt of anything that decided to fight back.  Not going to lie either, I was scared however I pushed through it.  I wanted this to be over; to get our lives back and to become a loving family again.

I played the Reiki music as I started on the west side of the house.  My plan was to move toward the room on the southeast side of the house; Heidi's room.  We always felt that was the room where everything originated.  I approached it as if I was sweeping up a mess on the floor.  I would just sweep everything into a pile into that room and then toss it back to the hell from which it came.   Not a bad plan I thought but someone had other things in mind.

I filled a bucket with hot salt water.  I made it hot enough to last me a while as I wanted to do the cleaning as quickly as possible.  I didn't want to leave any window of opportunity open for anything to take control of me.  As I started to clean the walls, I silently said a prayer.  I prayed for help, guidance, and strength.  As I went to dip the sponge back into the bucket, the water had turned ice cold.  What the hell, I had just filled it up with nearly scolding hot water!  Just as finished that thought, I heard a little giggle.  It was the laughter of a little girl.

"I guess you turned my water cold?", I said out loud.  "That wasn't very nice and I don't want you to do it again."

I dumped the water down the drain and started to fill the bucket back up with hot water & salt.

"Don't do touch my water this time. leave it alone." I yelled as I pulled the bucket out of the sink.

Shortly after saying that I heard running footsteps through heading toward the back of the house.   I guessed I made my point and went back to cleaning.  I worked quickly.  Through the mudroom into the living room. Then through the dining room, kitchen, and open bedroom.  I cleaned the front door, the foyer.  I was finally to the hallway about to make my way to the bedrooms.  I started in Emi's room, then into Chloe's room.  As I stood in front of Heidi's bedroom door, I paused.  Somehow in my mind, I knew this wasn't going to be easy.  I reached for the door knob and turned it but I couldn't open the door.  I pushed on it as hard as I could, putting my entire weight into it.  Still I couldn't open it.

I was scared and needed to regroup.  I was overcome with a sudden feeling of sadness and despair.  I walked away from the door and started to gain my composure.  I quickly thought that I needed fresh water.  Hotter water, as hot as I could stand to touch.  I dumped out the water and filled it up back up with hot water and salt.  I added extra salt for good measure.

"Here I come!", I yelled from the kitchen.  "I'm coming in and you can't stop me.  I'm stronger than you'll ever be!", I yelled as I made way to Heidi's bedroom door.

Before I could reach for the door knob, it opened slightly on it's own.  I pushed it open all the way with my foot and it slammed up against the wall.  The room was freezing.  The room had always felt cold in the past but this time it felt as if someone had left a window open during a snowstorm.  I started cleaning with purpose.  I cleaned the door first.  I thought whatever was in this room, it was now locked in here and if it wanted out it would have to through me.   I didn't talk and I didn't respond as I heard a man's voice sadly whisper, "why?"

I finished the room and stood at the doorway.  I didn't speak.  I felt I had nothing more to say to anything that was in this room.  I decided that my next course of action would be to dump the remaining hot salt water around the perimeter of the house.  I thought maybe it would keep anything else from coming inside and reeking havoc. 

I went back inside and lite frankincense and myrrh incense in every room in the house.  As I lite the last one, I could hear crying.  It was a crying like someone had just heard some devastating news.

As I waived the smoke from the incense around I said, "Cry all you want.  Cry day and night if it helps.  I'm punching your ticket to the after life and soon I'll be putting on the train to wherever that is going to be for you.  The Reiki's coming and your time is nearly up."

For the first time in a long time, I finally felt strong and in control.

Friday, November 2, 2018

Pack your bags, it's almost time to go!

We had been doing everything the Reiki asked of us  The house felt so much calmer; safer as well.  It felt like a warm sunny spring day after a long and harsh winter.  It was as if everything was waking up after hibernating.  The attitude of everyone was improving as well. We were starting to feel more in control of our surroundings.   The screams of the crazy woman were less frequent.  When she did scream, they were different in tone and feel.  It was as if she was being to fade.

On the other side of the coin was the hat man.  He wasn't as affected by all the prep work we were doing for the Reiki's upcoming visit.  We could still hear him walking through the house.  Doors still open and shut on their own.  The smell of tobacco smoke could still be smelt at times.  His presence could still be felt but it was as if he was being patient with us.

Jennifer had taken to talking to him.  She would use a calming tone and was very careful; choosing her words wisely.  She made sure not to talk down to him or say anything she felt would antagonize him.

"We really don't mind you being here as long as you don't hurt anyone", she said to him on nearly a daily basis. "You're not trapped here and you're welcome to leave anytime you wish", she would add.

She explained to him we weren't to blame for why he was in our house.  "You know, it wasn't us that brought you here.  It wasn't our wish to harm you in any way or make you feel as if you're a prisoner here.  I know you were very angry about what happened, we were too, but it wasn't us.  We respect you would do anything to harm you.  We hope you understand.  We also don't want you to be angry or plot against those who put you here.  They were inexperienced and didn't know that their actions would cause you harm.  We ask that you hold no ill-will towards them and leave them in peace."  

In a stern yet motherly voice she told him, "You're welcome to stay on our land but when you leave the house, you cannot come back inside.  Regardless of who says you can, you cannot come inside.  I'm not trying to be mean, we have children and we want to make they're safe and feel safe."

I honesty feel that Jennifer talking to him saved us from further harm.  We knew that having Amy come into our home caused quite an upheaval with the dead.   It was as if there was chaos in front our house most of the time as we could feel the confusion among them.   I believe that by Jennifer talking to him, keeping him calm, helped us.  I feel that he respected her and may have took it upon himself to keep certain things at bay.  Even though I have nothing to prove that it certainly felt that way.

We continue our prep work as it had become a daily ritual of sorts.  Blessing, praying, burning the incense, etc.  All of it had now had become a habit; something that we would do without thinking. 

We were still waiting for a calm day but we live in the Midwest and calm days in early summer can be somewhat difficult to come by.  It seemed that every single day there was a threat of severe weather.

We had become hyper-sensitive to anything happening.  Paranoid thinking that everything negative was the result of some sort of paranormal activity.   The PTSD we had as a result of everything was  taking it's toll on us.

Jennifer and I had to be strong.  We needed to take charge and push through this even though we were exhausted.  Although we felt better, we still weren't a 100%.  This had truly kicked our asses.  We had to get up off the floor and fight.  We had to get ready for the battles and recovery ahead of us.   It was time to pack Etta's (the crazy woman) bags, roll up the Hat Man's bedding and tack up his horse because it was almost time for them to go.

We needed to do a better job at protecting ourselves from those who wanted to invade from the path of dead in front of house.  That scared me because who's to say that some dead person walking along that path wouldn't be more terrorizing than what we already had?  How do I stop that from happening?

We were so anxious to put this all behind us.  We just wanted our lives back and to be a normal family.  Little did me know that would be more difficult than what we thought.

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