Ghost or Spirits or things that go bump in the night

We're often asked do we believe in "Ghost" now.  The short answer is yes, especially after our experiences.  However, it's not that easy of an answer.   We don't necessarily believe in word "Ghost" as a descriptive word for what we've experienced.  Granted, the description of our blog contradicts that statement as it's "...our ghost story.."  We use that because it's something others use and it's more identifiable to people.

So, if we don't believe in "Ghost" as a defining word then what exactly do we believe they are?  I think our descriptive terms go much deeper.

Our experiences lead to a more spiritual way of thinking as well as the concepts of what we believe haunted us.  "Ghost" was just too much of a general term to define things for us.  We knew we were dealing with something much deeper; spiritually as well as it's existence.

If they were here, then what exactly are they?  First, I want to say that we are not paranormal investigators so anything we say probably should be taken with a grain of salt when we answer this question.  There are many more people who have dedicated their lives to research this subject.  For us, it's just how we define it; nothing more.

After our experiences, our whole thought process changed.  We believe that although the people here had died in this world, they may not have died in others.  Maybe they left us and just moved to another dimension and, in the process of doing so, left a little bit of themselves behind here for us to see.  That part of themselves they left behind is not their ghost but something tangible of themselves.  Maybe it's a memory of what they experienced in our dimension that subconsciously they left behind because they no longer needed it or wanted it.   The more they left, the stronger it was.  We think they left their bad baggage behind and that's why we had the issues we had.   That bad baggage is constantly trying to reconnect with things it knows and hopefully reunite with remaining part so it can become whole again.   Maybe it even could pull back the part that left, trapping them in a state limbo between the dimensions.

It's a section of their soul and being.  It's that part of the soul that's lost or discarded.  Left behind intentionally or by accident maybe to deal with unfinished business or just no longer wanted.

To us they are not ghost but a fragmented section of  lost souls.

Not ghost...Misplaced and Discarded Peelings of Souls.  Left behind as a snake would leave it's shredded skin.

The Reveal-Part Three

Note:  This blog entry deals with some very sensitive issues that were not aired on our episode. It has taken a long time for us to heal from what we learned.  The emotional toll it took on us and the details leading up to Jennifer's breakdown are in this entry.


My hope that the Hat Man was our only issue were dashed when Amy said, "Yea, I did" after Steve asked her if she saw anything else.

I will never forget the look on Amy's face when she said that.  I knew by the tone of her voice and her expression, that we were about to hear something very horrifying and troubling.  I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, my heart was racing, and my knees began to shake a little.  I thought, "Oh God, this doesn't sound good."

I also felt that the reveal was beginning to wear on Jennifer.  She was already upset over hearing that the paranormal team may had done a blotched cleansing, but hearing everything about the Hat Man nearly sent her over the edge.  I was really worried about how she would handle what we were about to hear.  One thing that everyone should know about my wife is that her love for our family runs deeper than anything in the world.  She can't stand to see any of us suffering and she'll do anything to ease the pain. She is, without question, the most amazing person I know.

"The next person is a female and to me she's a big problem." Amy said.  As soon as she said that I knew she was talking about the screaming crazy woman.  I remember reaching under the table and grabbing Jennifer's hand, squeezing it tightly as we were both beginning to tremble.

I knew what we were about to hear wasn't going to be good.  Amy told us, "...She effects the living in many different ways...she'll take the energy from the living to feed her own energy to keep herself up." All the sudden we realized that all the fatigue, depression, health issues, and lack of self-motivation was caused by the crazy screaming woman.  Amy listened to all the health issues that we've had since we've lived here.  There were times that everyone one of us were sick for days on end and the doctors couldn't figure out why.  Jennifer talked specifically how her health had deteriorated since moving here.  She told Amy how she was in great health, but since living here she's had vitamin D issues, gallbladder removed, depression, fatigue, and stomach issues.  I could hear Jennifer's voice tremble as she began to realize that all her issues were because of the crazy woman's attacks.  .

Steve then begins to tell Amy about the video that I shot in the kitchen of the drawer. (Click here to see the full Video in blog entry, "The Storm Intensifies.")

After watching it, Amy looks at us and asked, "Have you had physical phenomenon going on prior to the other experiences?"

I told Amy about the time the butcher knife flew off the counter and caught me across the arm.  I told her the cut was so deep that I probably should have gotten stitches but was hesitate to do so because I'd have to explain how I got the cut where I did.  I showed Amy the scar from the cut.  Steve then showed Amy the picture that Jennifer took shortly after it happened.

"Dammmnnnn, that would be more of a poltergeist phenomenon than a deceased individual" said Amy.

I could immediately feel Jennifer sink in her chair after hearing that.  I knew she was really starting to have a difficult time holding it together with everything we were hearing.  I put my hand on her knee and could feel her trembling.

Jennifer after hearing about the poltergeist phenomenon.

Steve asked Amy if she got anything on the crazy woman in life.  All Amy could say was that she felt the woman died fairly recently.  Jennifer began to tell Amy about a family friend who recently passed away. Steve showed Amy the picture and asked if the woman was her.

"No, but she's here right now trying to warn you about this other woman." Amy said as she looked at the picture.

Steve then told us about Etta (Davis) Peters.  Etta died on the property in the early 1900's.  Her death was a mystery as no death certificate or record of her death exists other than a brief obituary.  He showed us a 4 or 5 line obituary for her.

Steve asked Amy if Etta could be the woman in the house.

"Yea, I think she is." Amy answered.

I did some research and found that Etta is buried at Providence Church Graveyard which is about 3 miles from our house

Amy then tells us about the dead people that are standing behind Jennifer.  She looked at Jennifer, and said, "There are seven dead people behind you.  They're all trying to warn about about someone who is hurting one of your girls.  They're saying that a living person is molesting the girl who sleeps in the back bedroom."   Amy said they're frantic about it and are trying to protect her from this person but can't.

"Who?  Who's doing this!?!  Do they know who it is?"  I angrily asked Amy. 

"It's someone she knows and they're taking advantage of her trust but they don't know who the person is."  Amy tell us.

Naturally since Heidi is in the back bedroom we think it's her.  My mind starts to run wild.  I think of about all the people she comes into contact with at school and at her gymnastics practices.  A picture of every person starts going through my mind.  It's like a slide show; a photo line up.  The pictures were moving so fast that I had trouble concentrating on what Amy was saying.

I immediately feel like a failure as a husband, father, and protector.  Someone is hurting my child and I want blood.  I want to beat them with my bare hands and leave them for dead.  I want them to suffer.

Amy begins to tell us all the things the crazy woman can do.  She first goes after us physically and then goes after you mentally.  Slowing sucking all the energy and sanity out of us until we're nothing but a useless shell.  After she's drained that person of everything they have, she'll  move onto the next person.  You would build yourself back up then she'll come back and do it all over again.  It was a never-ending vicious cycle.  She'd nearly kill us but leave enough life left in us for the next round.

As soon as Amy said, "She's kind of fixated on the man of the house", I knew exactly what she was talking about.  I knew deep down that the crazy woman was like this but I just didn't want to accept it.  I thought I had stopped her from being obsession with me but I didn't realize that she was "extremely jealous of anyone who gets his attention" as Amy said. 

Jennifer looked at Amy, "So everybody here."

Amy shakes her head and says, "yea and when that happens she tries to lash out, violently."

It was scary to think that someone was so fascinated with me that they wanted to hurt my family.  How do I stop someone such as her? She so obsessed with me and I can't do anything.  Restraining orders don't work on the dead.  Why was she fascinated with me, it's not like I'm the greatest looking guy.  I guess it was because I was the only guy around. As I had mentioned in the blog before, I knew she was like this but I didn't realize it was an obsession.  This was a nightmare, like a paranormal fatal attraction.

Amy told us what she saw in the back bedroom, something very disturbing took place there.  She said she did have it sketched.

Steve opened the envelope and pulled the sketch out.  All he said was, "Sorry" as he put it down in front us.

I overcome with emotion.  I couldn't really speak as so many thoughts ran through my mind.  Angry, failure, fear, and anxiety all rushed through me like a fright train as I struggled to hold it together.

Jennifer leans forward and says,  "And this is is in the back bedroom."

"Yes", Amy replied.

The sketch of what Amy saw in the back bedroom.

"That's Heidi's room", Steve said.  "Why's she going after her?"

Amy pointed to Heidi in the picture and tells us that she feels that Heidi is a PK (Psychokinesis) Agent and that to a dead person is "like the fucking Energizer Bunny."  Amy continues to tell us all the things that Heidi is capable of doing as a PK Agent.  However, Heidi is not aware of her abilities but she does knows she's different.  She doesn't realize how or why she's different and certainly doesn't understand how to control her abilities.

Amy told us more of why the crazy woman was going after our daughter.  "...and she's jealous of her! She kind of wants her out of the way." 

"Out of the way in what manner?"  Steve asked Amy.

Then Amy said to us the last thing that any parent wants to hear, "like get rid of her.  Like if she died she would be ecstatic."

Everything we heard was overwhelming.  I was angry and scared; I was ready to fight.  My family was in danger and I had to do something.

The toll this took on Jennifer was too much.  She finally reached her breaking point.  "I feel horrible.  My heart hurts."  she said after hearing everything.

All we could do was hold each other.  Try to collect ourselves and regroup.  We lean on each other anytime we hit a rough patch in our lives.  Being there for one another and gaining strength from each other is how we coup.  It's how we survive.

We had to stop filming as Jennifer started to hyperventilate.   She was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.  Emotions were pouring out of her.  Seeing her like this was heartbreaking, all I could do was just hold her and ensure her everything would be okay.  We would get through this.  We took Jennifer outside to on the back porch.  I practically had to carry her because she was so distraught.  As I walked her outside, I could see some of the crews eyes watering up.  The emotions of what just happened effected everyone.

Steve was absolutely amazing.  It seemed as if his police training kicked in as he treated her like a victim.  He knew exactly what to say to her.  Without his help I don't think we could have continued with the reveal.

We finally collected ourselves and told the producers we're ready to continue.

Now we know what had been torturing us for nearly 8 long years.  We told each other if Amy told us to leave, we were leaving that night.

Question From A Reader : "How do you do it ? Is there any chance it can be totally gotten rid of?"

We are continuing our story with blog entry Semana del los Muertos - trecera parte  (Week of the Dead -part three).   This entry is going to be a collaboration from four of us (myself, Jennifer, Heidi, & Emi) so it's taking some of us longer to write our part.   It's a work in progress so thank you all for your patience.  We hope to have it done & posted by midweek.

In the meantime, here's a question we got via Twitter. "How do you do it ? Is there any chance it can be totally gotten rid of?"  It was in response to what we did after the show in order to reclaim our lives.

We were overwhelmed after the Reveal.  It was an emotionally painful & draining experience for us.  Viewers only see about 10 minutes of the reveal however the reveal can last for hours.  To be specific, ours lasted over 4 hours.  It was so hard on Jennifer and it still breaks my heart when I think about it.  We were given a lot of information about everything that was going on & what we needed to do to get rid of the spirits trying to destroy us.

Amy gave us specific instructions of what needed to be done and it was a daunting list.  Without going into too much detail about her list because I want to save for a future blog post, it involved a total change in our lives and how we lived.  It took patience, trust, and strength. 

One of the first things that Amy told us is that there is a sea of dead people walking back and forth in front of house.  She described it as path they are following; as if they are traveling somewhere.  She told us that all of us were sensitives and because of this those following the path would pick up on this.  Some of them are good, some are not.  It's hard for us to tell who is who so we treat all as bad until they prove otherwise.  We will never totally get rid of spirits because of our abilities. 

The good news is that we understand who we are now and we are continuing to learn how to control our environment as well as how to protect ourselves.   It is an continuing and ongoing duty that all of us share and we have learned to trust each others abilities.  We never question or dismiss what one of us feels or senses.  We act immediately to protect our environment & ourselves.  We are also extremely careful of who we invite into our home.

We cleanse & bless our house as needed but we do it every month regardless of what is happening.  We burn frankincense and myrrh almost daily.  We wear protection stones & other things.  We practice positive thoughts & relaxation exercises.  Educating ourselves has been the key to reclaiming our lives and it's a continuing and ongoing process.  We are still healing and that is taking time.  A lot of people think that once you get rid of what is haunting you life goes back to normal but it doesn't.  The aftermath and the emotional damage takes time to heal.   Everyday gets better and every day gets us closer to the family we once were.

We will be forever grateful to Amy, Steve, and The Dead Files for helping us.

If you have a question, we encourage you to ask.  Our goal in sharing our story continues to be to help those who are suffering and just need some courage to get the help they need.  No one should suffer in silence.

We've made it easier to submit questions too!  Just Fill out the "Contact Us" Form on upper right.

If your question is for one of us in particular, please say who it's directed to.   Also, we won't publish your name unless you specifically ask us to do so.

Question From A Reader "What was the most difficult thing about your experiences?"

I get a lot of direct messages asking questions about what happened and how we dealt with everything.  I do my best to answer them all and have been very open in answering them.  I got the question below a few days ago.  It caused me to pause and really think.

"What was the most difficult thing about your experiences?"

I've labeled our experiences in stages.

Stage One-The Denial
Stage Two-The Haunting itself
Stage Three-The Identification and Actions To be Taken
Stage Four-The Recovery from the Emotional and Mental Toll
Stage Five- Empowerment

We are currently in Stage Four, recovery from the emotional and mental toll it took on all of us.  That is the most difficult thing about our experiences.

Noticed that I used "is".  That's because our wounds are still heeling.   The emotional & mental toll has been difficult to overcome.  Moving forward means one step forward and two steps back sometimes.  A lot of people think that once you rid your home or get control of the source of the attacking or haunting, life goes back to normal.   It doesn't.  We were a long way from normal and we still have a ways to go.

After our experiences, we became hypersensitive to things.  Thoughts would race through our minds, "was that something we should worry about?" "Is someone here that we can't identify?"  "What is that sound?"  "Is she back?".

We still are somewhat withdrawn as a family.  We don't do much outside our home and confine ourselves only to places we feel comfortable.  Recovery is a long road of looking over your shoulder to see if there is anything behind you.  It's not sleeping or waking up for no reason.  It's putting your faith in objects and practices in hopes that they speed your recovery.  It's talking to each other and supporting one another.

It's being strong for each other.

Gaining control of lives is a hard battle in over a 9 year war for us.  It's accepting who we are & our abilities.  Understanding how to control our environment in order to speed the healing process.

Educating ourselves is the key to recovering from the emotional & mental damage.  We're not there yet but we are getting closer.

If you have a question, we encourage you to ask.  Our goal in sharing our story continues to be to help those who are suffering and just need some courage to get the help they need.  No one should suffer in silence.

We've made it easier to submit questions too!  Just Fill out the "Contact Us" Form on upper right.

If your question is for one of us in particular, please say who it's directed to.   Also, we won't publish your name unless you specifically ask us to do so.

Holding on until the help arrived.

The news that The Dead Files was coming to our rescue had really lifted our spirits.  Our mood finally swung to one of hope.  For the first time is a very long time, we felt we were on the offensive.

When talked to The Dead Files in the Fall of 2015, it triggered some negative experiences.  It was like we were punished for contacting the show. (see Nice Trick, Now for Your Punishment).  This time around, Jennifer & I decided to take precautions.   We would try our best not to talk about the show or the fact that Amy & Steve were coming.  Granted, this was an extremely difficult task as we would get calls and emails from the show's producers.  However, thankfully it seemed to be working.  We could actually feel an air of confusion, not from us, but from the entities in the house.  We had a secret and the spirits couldn't figure out what it was.

Our assigned producer, Jeremy, from Painless Productions called to introduce himself.  Nothing earth shattering just a nice introduction and to schedule a time for all of us to talk.  During the next call, all of us shared our experiences and what had happened in the house.   He didn't want us to get into too much detail or for us to speculate what we thought was causing the experiences.  He just wanted a "guide" or "path" on where to start.  The call was really more about us and getting to know us as a family.

Jeremy told us that he would be flying in a couple of days prior to the production crew arriving.  He would be coming to the house taking pictures and getting an idea of the layout of house and land.  We also reviewed the production schedule which was daunting.  Filming was scheduled to begin in late May 2016.  There were a couple of days/night that we could not be at the house.  To further complicate things for us, we had to move ALL the animals off the property.  Amy is a huge animal lover and they were afraid that if the animals were there it would distract her during her walk and thus she wouldn't get a good reading.

Nothing makes you panic more than having your home about to be shown on national TV.  Our house had fallen into an unkempt disaster.  Our hearts, energy, and health weren't strong enough to keep our home up to the standards we were accustomed to in the past.  However, the thought of being on the show and finally getting help inspired us to at least get to the point of making things look better.

Jeremy's visit was somewhat overwhelming & emotional because for the first time someone really wanted to learn about our struggles and was willing to help.  So we poured out our hearts to him.  We told him everything but were able to keep things suppressed at his request.  The two younger girls, Heidi & Emi, were excited to share things with him.  Chloe was somewhat reluctant.  She was still in denial of some of the things and was upset that the experiences were taking away from her Senior year of high school.   She did speak with Jeremy but at her request did so privately.  Londyn, our oldest daughter, was still attending school in Nashville and would not be able to come home for the filming.  She was willing to do Skype but she wanted to do it anonymously.  The show's executive producers said no to that so that's the reason Londyn was not in the episode.

While Jeremy was talking to Emi in the the doorway of her bed something happened.   The crazy woman figured it all out and let a very loud and very angry scream.  It wasn't as much of scream as it was a yell.  Like a parent yelling at a child who was in trouble.

The look on Jeremy's face was shocking.  I said to him, "Surely something like this has happened before."

"No...no, this is the first time ever....that's a first", he said.

Our hopes of keeping this a secret from the entities that were torturing us had come unraveled.

The battle had begun and the spirits were turning the dial up to ten.  They wanted to stop Amy from coming and it came down to whoever was stronger...us or them.

At the end of the rope with nowhere to fall

If you have been an reader of our blog, you realize that our slow demise mentally & physically is an ongoing up to this point.  Now it's beginning to hit a climatic breaking point.   Jennifer's health continued to deteriorate.   She experienced stomach issues and had to have her gallbladder removed   She's tired and beginning to show signs of depression.  The younger girls, Heidi & Emi, have illnesses on a daily basis.  Despite constantly going to the doctor they have no answers on why they are sick or what could be causing it.  They prescribe antibiotics & other medicines but those only seem to slow it down but not cure it.  Chloe has become distant and less involved with the family.   We are slowly being torn apart, one thread at a time.    Bad days far out number good days now.

Our only recourse now seems to be to try to distant ourselves from the activity.   We feel we have a good idea of the hot spots so we make them off limits.   The back bedroom is now vacant.   No one is allowed in the basement.  Jennifer sleeps with the girls in the living room.  I sleep with Maya in what is now an open bedroom.  Everyone knows where everyone else is at all times.  Finally, under no circumstances is anyone allowed to stay home alone.

The holidays arrive but it means nothing to us.  Everything seemed to pile on top of us pushing us down.  It was a feeling that someone was slowly eating away at us; keeping us under their control. Nothing brought us happiness regardless of what we tried.  Compounding our problem was a strain of Canine parvovirus that ran through our kennel.  It killed 16 puppies in less than 10 days.  The virus was planted in our home but a careless individual who dropped off her sick dog in our kennel area in the middle of the night without telling us.  This does nothing but adds to Jennifer depression and makes her more vulnerable to attacks.  I feel as if she is slowly drifting away.

We started asking for things to be returned if they've been taken.   Sometimes things come back and sometimes they don't.   Case in point, it was our anniversary and Jennifer had laid an envelope full of cash on the bar for us to use on our night out.   It was in plain site and I remember seeing it setting there.   As we about to walk out the door, she goes to get it and it's gone.  We searched everywhere but it's nowhere to be found.   Finally Jennifer says, "It's our anniversary, please give my money back so we can celebrate."  Within in minutes it appears back on the bar like it had never been touched.

Things continue to happen despite our efforts to contain it.   Doors open and close, we hear voices, things disappear, and the screaming man and woman seem to be screaming at each other now with us being caught in the middle.  The smell of pipe and cigarette smoke continues to fill our house.   It's difficult for us to decipher what's good versus what has harmful intentions so we treat everything as hostile.  We have stopped talking to others about our issues because we feel it's counterproductive and doesn't serve a purpose but to make us some sort of novelty; like a freak show at a carnival.   We've become withdrawn and only venture out out of necessity.  We too tired to fight at this point.  We're helpless, lost, and have no one & nowhere to turn.  We're at the end of our rope but there's nowhere safe to fall.

Talk to me...now!!!

Things started getting active...well, very active.  I was starting to hear a woman talking but apparently I was the only one who could.  She was crazy, excitable, and unstable.  Since no one else could hear her, I thought I was losing my mind.

I could hear her but I couldn't see her.  That just lead to more doubt as to what was happening.  I was beginning to get headaches, lacked focus, and started not to sleep well.  I would wake up several times during the night for no apparent reason.   She was taking me to the brink of exhaustion.

Most of the time she would just ramble; talking just to talk and not saying anything important or worthwhile enough to listen too.  However, there where times she would scream at me.  It was deafening and made my ears ring.  It felt like she was right on top of me.   She would scream "TALK TO ME!"  "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?!.

Since no one else could hear her, I thought it was my imagination or worse some kind of mental disorder.  I was agitated on a daily basis and just couldn't focus any longer.  It was difficult to remain calm and my anxiety level was off the charts.  I didn't talk to anyone about it because I didn't want to be admitted to a mental hospital.  What was strange was I could only hear her when I was at home.

One night while laying in bed, she whispered, "why are you ignoring me?"  "Please tell me, I am without words and scared".  I felt that I should finally talk back and answered, "because I don't like you, you scare me and I want you to leave me alone."

All of the sudden, her screams and chatty behavior started to fade.  I could still hear her but she wasn't as loud.  I couldn't make out what she was saying anymore but I could tell that she was very angry.  Finally, I stopped hearing her altogether.   The voice stopped.

The experience of hearing her, and then it stopping after I focused on getting rid of it, made question my mental health.  I was still anxious, irritable, and exhausted.  It was hard to focus on my job and just on life in general.  Things I enjoyed doing I no longer enjoyed.  Either because I didn't have the energy to do them or just because I was in so much pain.

The pain started shortly after I got her to stop talking to me.  It started slowly but then escalated into a debilitating issue.  Every joint on my body hurt.  My fingers hurt so bad that I could barely type (I'm a recruiter so I make my living in front of a laptop), my neck hurt so bad that I could barely turn it, my back was in such pain that I could barely walk, sit down comfortably, or God forbid...sleep.   There were nights that I was in such pain that I prayed not to wake up.

There was no rhyme or reason for what was happening.  I was in decent shape and had no major health issues at all.  As I was trying to get comfortable one night, I heard her again, softly whispering in my ear.  "You can toss, you can turn, but you will never be comfortable again.  I will make you come to me. I can make it all stop.  All you have to do is come to me."   The bitch was back and was now attacking me!

Jennifer was getting frustrated with me because she wanted me to go to the doctor but I refused.  I began to self medicate myself...ice, Advil, trying to stretch out my joints and muscles, hell even alcohol.  All this only brought me temporary relief.  Finally, I had enough and broke down and went to the doctor.  I wouldn't tell him about the crazy chick but I would talk to him about my anxiety, pain, and inability to sleep.  After a half-ass examination and him telling me "well, welcome to old age.",  he put me on Zoloft and Meloxicam.  Despite me telling him all my aches and pains, especially my back, he only wanted to x-ray my little finger.  The visit was a waste of time and did nothing but frustrate me and drive me deeper into a state of hopelessness.

I started the medicine and the Zoloft helped somewhat and the Meloxicam didn't really help at all. I could hear her laughing quietly, like she had done something mischievous.  The last thing I heard her say to me before I finally was able to block her out was, "all the elixirs in the world will not help. I am your only remedy."

I was being attacked or going crazy.  Hard to tell which one but it felt like both.